Thursday, February 16, 2006

What If I Am Injured by the Second "T" in "Hott"?


Due to the recent Bass Players Union takeover of this blog, and owing to their excessive display of forbidden linguistic oddities such as "booty" and "hott," of which they are apparently fully credentialled users, I am beginning to fear for my safety, not to mention job security. What if their subsonic ultraglam wavelength shakes that extra "t" loose, and it smashes me in the forehead like a flying headstock? The Brat Pack had many a fabulous chick singer before me (that's Madawna on the left and Gloria Newton John on the right), and I'm sure they'll carry on without me, but you better pray they don't cut corners by doing drag again.

8 comments:

The Devas said...

I don't know what you mean by that, Dave! The only guitar players we know are really nice, button their shirts all the way up, say please and thank you so much you almost want to kick them, and would never not ever flaunt their pants. Oh, unless they lost their license to ill with a crappy hand at a far away casino but they were too drunk to realize it. Then I might know who you're talking about.

Kendell Welch said...

I disagree. That look you're getting while you're on stage isn't a search for inspiration...it's to determine your species. They think you're a Homo-Guitarus, but you don't have enough strings.

Hang in there man. Darwin suggests that after enough gigs, enough random mutations might occur that even a Homo-Bassus can eventually/accidentally mutate into Homo-Guitarus.

The Devas said...

Sixteen Kendells has science on his side. The Homo Guitarus is one of the most well-studied species, so awesome is its transcendent beauty, so remarkable its utilization of opposable thumb and additional strings. Since Mr. Kendells is a skilled practitioner of acoustical probabilities and anthropology, if he say you a couple more strings to qualify for heroism, you know what to do.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, hold the phone. I was totally inspired by that pic of Guido in the bunny suit. And I am qualified to call that HOTT.

Anonymous said...

and booty

Kendell Welch said...

Bunny Suit = # of Strings + 1

Kendell Welch said...

Homo Guitaricus is an alternate spelling, but equally accurate.

Temptation does not influence genetics. Genetics defines itself.

This is getting out of control...Sixteen Kendells approves.

Kendell Welch said...

I'll concede to that :)