Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The Trouble with GI Joe


Everyone says we're really lucky when we can have GI Joe on a gig. They ask, "What could possibly go wrong with Joe around? He's a top-flight, first-rate crew member. He keeps Larry occupied (i.e., not showing off his salsa dance skills to the ladies) by killing the power at random points in the show. He's right there at the bar whenever you need refreshment and even risks his own life making sure every drink is tasty, free of poison, and not overly full. He takes off his pants after being told only once. He keeps the waitresses out of your way while you're humping gear. He's a fun-loving, great looking guy, a tremendously talented musician, and a fabulous driver. So how come you can't bring Joe all the time?"

The trouble with GI Joe is he makes us look fat.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

i bet he come in handy when something falls in between the cracks in the stage. you can just stick him down there to get it.

Joliet Jen said...

I don't think I've ever met G.I Joe

Lynndi said...

We can't take him anywhere.
Those are Solid Gold Jen's pants he's sporting in the photo. Sexy, huh?

Anonymous said...

he's yummy not yucky
please oh please bring him to TOmmy G's

Jesse VanHalen said...

He happens to have been for helpful at giving the band very short breaks. He has a technique for putting noises at rest. It involves power and tripping.

JV

Joliet Jen said...

you should bring him to me

Jesse VanHalen said...

He acts so 70's though. Just check him out on the front of this blog. That's the kind of shit he pulls all the time. Knocking out power and doing disco moves with his pants off. How old school is that. We need an 80's vibe out of him.

JV

Lynndi said...

Dude!
It's called working the room! GI Joe has priorities, and around here we spell that L-A-D-I-E-S. We don't need an 80s vibe from him! Joe's the perfect roadie, tripping over power cables and all. I only ask that when he jumps onto the stage from out of nowhere, he not stand so close to me and get me all distracted with his stylish briefs and make me look fat.

Lynndi said...

Hey Jaybriel,
You're a guy, right? Who do you think is a better dancer - Larry with the moves or Joe with the pants around his ankles?

Jesse VanHalen said...

Lynn D. Aren't you married?

JV

Lynndi said...

Why do you ask?

Jesse VanHalen said...

beacuse I don't think Joe is. Is he?