Talk to Punky, Episode Twelve

Talk to Punky, Episode Eleven!

Talk to Punky Returns!!

Poor Lynndi Lauper, cut out of the action by Sam Kind of Wonderful, proud new owner/director/producer/star of Talk to Punky. At least the series is saved and quite possibly better than ever, now featuring a real celebrity guest star and some lightly dressed ladies. Take that, Lauper.

A Terrible Turn of Events

We knew tensions were high, but wow.

Let Punky Talk

You probably remember our hit series, "Talk to Punky," and how everything started going bad a couple of weeks ago. "Let Punky Talk" is part one of the two part documentary exposing the awful truth.

Our Video Series Hits the Skids

She Did NOT Just Say That

The punchline has been deleted, but we are confident that you can guess it.

Boi Ian Returns with Words of Wisdom from the Future!

He learned a lot while he was away and shared some of that knowledge with Punky just before the big homecoming show!

Sam Talks

Those cookies must have been spiked.

Oh Dear

Now Even Joe Has Something to Say to Punky

Alex in Chains Talks!

Talk to Punky. He Listens.

Episode One



Episode Two



Where will it end?

Transfers of Awesome Powers!

This year's Brat Pack Christmas Party was full of sacred ceremonies as we rang in the new. Alums Tommy Tubular, Guido Menudo, and New Wave Dave AKA Diamond Dave stopped by to assist with the transfer of superpowers to new Brats.

Here's Punky Drewster chillin with a fancy cigar prior to his "High Five Pre-Ordination" by the Holy Reverend Tubular. With the paperwork completed, Punky can officiate at weddings, funerals, fundraisers, and proms, and his wise words of wisdom will sparkle all across the land. Tip your bartenders, for sure.

Then someone dragged out the dirty old Ibanez, symbolic of all much-loved and fondled guitars, and in an impressive triple-lick, our founding father empowered rock badasses 'Sam Kind of Wonderful' and 'Brendan Goes to Hollywood' with guitar infinity. They shredded til the break of dawn.

Meanwhile, in another room and perhaps another dimension, veterans Guido Menudo and New Wave Dave AKA Diamond Dave held a low end, four to five string summit with shooting star Alex in Chains. The powers of the bass are too cryptic and magical for witnesses to understand, but no sub woofers were harmed in Alex' initiation. This is what it probably looked like.

And this is probably what Alex is doing today.

At the end of the party, Lynndi Lauper sealed the deal with our traditional 'every time we get together, someone gets hurt' move, this time thanks to excessive dancing. So now if you see her hobbling around on a cane and weeping, you'll know for sure that the Brat Pack's awesome superpowers have been conferred to the Next Generation, and the 80s will never ever ever have to end. Happy New Year to you too!

Need Help with Your New Year's Resolution?

The Brat Pack always has your best interests in mind, so our fittest member has put together an instructional video that's guaranteed to get you into great shape sometime after NYE.

Why The Brat Pack Holiday Show is Scarier than Halloween

It starts with scary elves and fairies and toys.

And then a giant cookie tries to intimidate you.

Two out of Three Kings of Orient Are...

Bearing cute boxes of candy and toys. They travel afar!

We can't get the other king out of the bathroom. Working on it...

I Have Been Remiss

In my tenure as The Management of The Brat Pack Blog, I have had only rare occasion to intervene, preferring to function as an eminence gris (with a big stick, I might add). Today, however, I am compelled to come forward with a question I believe many are asking:

Rick is really 61??

It's Private Secret Party Time

We can't leave any clues about where we're playing, such as Mount Vernon or Lincoln or Peoria or Davenport or even Springfield.
We can't refer to these events as Christmas parties or holiday parties or surprise parties or company end-of-year recognition dinners or wedding receptions or bar mitzvahs or free dental screenings.
We really can't talk about it at all.

RIP

Goodbye, sweet Heavy D!
We love you.

When We Aren't Working...

Although not necessarily safe for work or ears or even eyes, our latest home movie begins to unravel the mystery of gig injuries, suggesting that the song "Footloose" may not be to blame. Also of value: editing it gave one of us something to do until 3AM on school nights.

You Look Good in Blue... It Goes With Your Skin.

Who's that thinking those nasty thoughts?
That's Vanilla Mike, Mike, Baby.
He was smurfing it up for the Pack's most sacred holiday, which closes out our month of birthdays and anniversaries and contest winner celebrations!

But later some other things happened...

And no one really knows why.

The World's First and Only TWSS Validator, On the Road with US!

He is the only man suited for the job.
In addition to helping the new Brat Pack launch safely, he's unique in all the world for his ability to validate any That's What She Said. Now that we've been taken over by girls we're distorting TWSS beyond recognition (you're welcome), so his support is critical even without an 80s name. Plus he can count to infinity, and he controls cats.

Why Does Angie Get to Hang Out with the Bangles?

Yeah, we're jealous. How come Angie and the Bangles get to have all the fun? Here they are showing off the cool stuff she made for them.

Meanwhile, all we got to do was this.

And this.

And this.

Boo hoo.

Just Thinking About Wrapping All of Their Presents Makes My Head Hurt

Zombie vs. Magical Hair - Who Will Win?

For too long, the Brat Pack has been overwhelmed, tormented, stalked, harassed, and feasted upon by zombies who use spells and evil voodoo potions to get past security.

Last weekend, just when Michael Jackson was about to sample the tasty brains of new Brat Sam Kind of Wonderful, our superhero bass player Alex in Chains rolled in with her magical spinning hair to confuse and repel the most undead of all our special uninvited guest singers.

He retreated in pretend shame, but we know he'll be back, so we're packing lots of hairspray from now on.

Contest Prize Time, Part One

Watch as The Brat Pack ruins a perfectly fine Sunday morning right in front of one of the two Name Sam contest winners.

Other Proud Traditions Won't Die EIther

Just as faithfully as we follow the Rules of the Road and the Second Law of Thermodynamics, the Brat Pack maintains certain bass player traditions in spite of the recent innovation. These include, but are not limited to, a cute skirt, occasional party hats, and intoxicating perfume.

A Proud Tradition Endures

Lynndi Lauper's been showing off for the new people with stubbed toes, ripped hose, minor head injuries, the lightweight stuff of today's more cautious, well-informed Brat Pack. Predictably, no one was impressed.

But last night, Sam Kind of Wonderful brought the Pack back to its roots. During the first song of the night, Footloose, the whirlwind culminated in a serious ankle sprain. At break an hour later, there was no time for first aid or even sympathy, as a downpour directed everyone's attention to protecting inanimate objects. Neglecting Poor Sam's problem for several hours, and even laughing at him and getting video of him limping across the parking lot, let it bloom into today's triumphant, old skool gig tragedy!

It's good to know that some Brat Pack traditions continue...

News and Weather Update

We've just received word that something happened, probably related to the 80s or someone who lived in the 80s, and that there will be weather in the near future, although its style and intensity are difficult to predict.

Meanwhile, we suspect that Alex in Chains' hair and the Aurora Borealis were separated at birth. You decide.

80s Name Contest Is Still Open!

Win this Contest, Save the Day, Do Some Shots!!!

Who Can it Be Now?

People are talking. They want to know something, anything at all, about the Pack's transformation. Constantly reliving the Me Decade for well over a decade, this little engine doesn't stop even when a couple of its members (and we mean that with love) do crazy things like grow up.

The sleepy fat caterpillar is about to become a beautiful butterfly! We can't reveal everything yet, but it could be as gnarly as this:



or this:



or even this:



Behold the new face of the Brat Pack.

News and Weather

Yesterday was pretty hot.
Today too, but we had a brief storm. It screwed up the phone booth time machine and local traffic.

Tomorrow? It's too soon to tell.
Good weather for something or other though.

Gotta Get Back in Time

The future is a pretty rough place, filled with unfamiliar words and symbols and unnaturally shiny hair. Much to our relief, we all got back in time for this weekend's 80s rumpus.

Is It Safe?

Because Guido took the DeLorean on a death-defying, high-speed, cross-country trek with a hot brunette AND a hot blonde, Tom had to rig this 80s classic so that he too could travel through time and make the past tomorrow as awesome as the future yesterday. We're a little worried about Tommy, whose motto is 'close your eyes and floor it' cause we're not sure this little beater really has 1.21 gigawatts of power. Good luck, TT! Make it back safe!

Scenes from the Summer Teen Jobs Program

If we learned anything from today's Job Shadowing, it's that there's more to this gig than texting while shaving, and it's not even just about making lists of all things 80s, 80s-ish, 80s-esque, and 80s-like.

For example, with a lot of practice and concentration, girls can look almost as good dancing in kilts as Guido does. See how well the Summer Teen Job Shadowers did on their first try?

Then they studied makeup with Lynndi.

I Need a Man!

Searching for Mister Perfect to officiate the Summer Teen Jobs Program Graduation Ceremony, but I don't think the King of Cool is available these days. Who oh who will it be...

What's so Great about State Fairs?

First it's the time honored tradition of pairing g-force with untold fried delights.

Followed by the even more epic battle between 80s band and nature...

It will end in tears.

With the Use of Amazing Future Technology, We Now Predict the Weather

Due to the presence of tiny suns and secondary clues "0%" and "NNE11" next to 1PM, 2PM, 3PM, 4PM, 5PM, 6PM, 7PM, and 8PM on a smartphone, it is unlikely that rain will interfere with the Elvis and X-Krush portions of today's Fireside Bar & Grill parking lot extravaganza.

However, an eerie grey moon next to 9PM suggests that The Brat Pack's sets may be a mass hallucination triggered by unexpected visits from outer space aliens hiding behind the lonely luminary.

Unless the moon really is made of cheese and we decide to split it with them.