Star Wars 5.25: The Empire Takes Names

You probably didn't know that the Falcon's hyperdrive requires 1.21 gigawatts of power to jump to light speed. You might have noticed the team of AV dudes controlling the juice so we wouldn't explode from our own rockening. Can you guess which one just flew in from Hawaii?

Alright, back to the intergalactic drama. Here's Lord Vader being a good dad, laying it down for his kids.

One of the kids learned to sing like a Wookie.

The other one was getting down.

All You Puzzle People!

Help. I know there's a crowd of brainiacs out there just waiting for a terrible teaser. My deeply anonymous West Coast contact has passed along this challenge (TWICE):

"Speaking of puzzles, my mathematic friend, I posted one on halloween and haven't heard your solution yet. Here it is again (see image). The idea is that the Xs may stand for different numbers, i.e. any given X is not necessarily the same as any other X. Relying upon the basic tenets of long division, however, it is possible to figure out what each X stands for, and derive the quotient. I look forward to your solution."



I can't find a pencil or paper, so I'm willing to pretend your solution is my solution. Any takers?

Star Wars 4.98: The Empire Kicks Butt

Tough night for Han Solo! He couldn't get the dang thing to jump to lightspeed (stupid hyperdrive,) and then it was one villain after another on bass all night long.

Vader put the whammy on him, making his throat kind of dry and scratchy just before he had to sing a Journey or Bon Jovi tune.

He couldn't even let his guard down when Boba Fett left the stage for good because these fellows started coming after him with multi-colored inflatable bass guitars.

It's not easy to play drums when you're frozen in carbonite.

Even if the party is on.

Carbonite pretty much sucks.

Star Wars 5.333334: The Empire Knocks Off

We're looking for a short, green, 900 year old guy, but this chocolate will do.

Star Wars 4.5: The Empire Talks Back

So there we were, Luke and Han and I, just chillin at the Hilton, relieved to have filled the tank in a galaxy far, far away rather than Springfield. We had no idea that Boba Fett had stowed away and was now sneaking up behind us. Fortunately, the ghost of Obi Wan Jedi-mind-tricked him into playing bass.

The ghost of Obi Wan's spell-casting didn't end there. Here he is persuading a wayward protocol droid to back off.

Success!

Then we learned that it's true your hair keeps growing after you're dead. Poor Ghost of Obi Wan. We doubted he'd hook up looking like that.

Happily, a Klingon stopped by.

I designed this logo for a website that I helped develop in 1997. I'm sure Lynndi will see the irony :)