Dear Diary

OMG, I am so excited about the gig!! We're about to kick it old school style in our home town, with surprise guest appearances by our Basstronaut (until this morning he was lost in space) and that booty-shaking cowbell slamming GI Joe! Expect nothing but FT to the TB at Fat City 2-nite!!

A Call from Uncle Jeff, Noted Theoretical Astrophysicist

Rumors are running wild about Jesse Van Halen's recent top secret confidential private phone conference with Uncle Jeff, Noted Theoretical Astrophysicist. The information is classified, but word on the street is that Uncle Jeff ran the numbers again and found an unidentified galaxy in our Basstronaut's path, one which could present interstellar political complications.

Oh, Hey!

Speaking of wild parties, I heard that some of Guido's cousins will be in the neighbothood next week for a block party. Fire up the grill - caliente!

The Electrik Larry Family Reunion!!

I hear Larry's taking a few hours off sometime next year to attend the biggest blowout this side of the Mississippi, well either side of the Mississippi really, because when the Electrik Larry family gets together, things get pretty wacky!

4 3 2 1

We sent our bass-tronaut off on his mission to probe the universe in search of new forms of hotness. He has met the space gash, and it is good.

Be Careful, Space Explorers!

We might not hear from our Bass-tronaut for some time. Space is really big, after all, and full of flaming meteors, uncharted wormholes, enormous five-headed monsters, and many other things you could easily trip over or get your lifeline wrapped around. The good news is he's not alone out there. He can contact co-pilot GI Joe anytime using the tin can and wire system Uncle Jeff and the Jessbot built for them. The code is "I've fallen, and I can't get up."