In preparation for the huge green binge of the next two days, New Wave Dave did a lot of research on how the saint who led away Ireland's snakes came to be honored by so much beer and whiskey. Did he also drive out the monkeys and the elephants and the kangaroos, leaving nothing but potatoes and leprechauns and little pots of gold? Whatever, thanks a lot Pat! After cleaning up the sulfur explosion in his top secret basement laboratory, Josh of Seagulls synchronized a fleet of laptops for our massive instant message party at Tommy G's (now a hotspot). We've had the Jessbot on a charger since Sunday, following reports that his persistently low battery was upsetting female fans. TOMMY TUBULAR has been making out with the Blarney Stone in order to preserve his reputation as the most persuasive debater on earth. Menudo's on a secret mission, to be revealed next weekend at the Copper Dragon. And I spent the whole week at the Old School Dance Party Hip Hop Boot Camp, only to be suspended for letting a guest star show up with her hair a mess - no fair! - but at least I'll get to hang out with Guido. If he calls.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
How We Got Ready for St. Patrick's Day
In preparation for the huge green binge of the next two days, New Wave Dave did a lot of research on how the saint who led away Ireland's snakes came to be honored by so much beer and whiskey. Did he also drive out the monkeys and the elephants and the kangaroos, leaving nothing but potatoes and leprechauns and little pots of gold? Whatever, thanks a lot Pat! After cleaning up the sulfur explosion in his top secret basement laboratory, Josh of Seagulls synchronized a fleet of laptops for our massive instant message party at Tommy G's (now a hotspot). We've had the Jessbot on a charger since Sunday, following reports that his persistently low battery was upsetting female fans. TOMMY TUBULAR has been making out with the Blarney Stone in order to preserve his reputation as the most persuasive debater on earth. Menudo's on a secret mission, to be revealed next weekend at the Copper Dragon. And I spent the whole week at the Old School Dance Party Hip Hop Boot Camp, only to be suspended for letting a guest star show up with her hair a mess - no fair! - but at least I'll get to hang out with Guido. If he calls.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Get a Comb
We might at first be tempted to turn to the Blondie papers for guidance in how to deal with repeated instances of egregious hygiene. As it happens, the fault does truly lie with our own Lynndi Lauper who bears responsibility for the actions of all subcontracted guest appearances. If a hairstyle is too much to ask, then a brush may be useful. If no brush, comb, pick, or set of fingers can perform the magic we seek, Ms. Lauper may find herself with the weekend off too.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Think Donnie Brasco
Guido says he needs the weekend off to be with someone very special, someone from out of town with beautiful blonde hair. According to TOMMY, blondes are becoming extinct; he read it somewhere or saw it on TV, so it must be true. Anyway, I'm getting suspicious of Guido's time off, since you can barely recognize him in disguises like this one, and weird things happen right after his mysterious vacations. The last time, I got a phone call from Blockbuster about late movies. The time before that, nasty letters from the library about overdue new wave magazines. And pretty regularly, Big Brother just happens to show up at Guido-free gigs to issue double-tickets for fighting for our right to party AND for partying like it's 1999. I suggest everyone watch what they say around sweet sweet Mr. Menudo.
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