Update

We could try predicting the weather, but what do we know.

As for the news, a bad thing happened, much to the surprise of some, and an in-depth investigation may or may not follow.

Distinguished Alumni of the Summer Teen Jobs Program!

Heathers! Class of 2004...
She's a big star now, of screen and stage, but she still returns our calls and text messages and will even hang out in the back of the van with Lynndi when needed.

D-Boy, Class of 2010,
completed the program six months early and went on to win big dance competitions in this costume! He's a youtube sensation too!

Pre-Teen Pre-Vocational Training Program = Success!

An old favorite joke, reinvented by one of the youngest participants in our summer preteen job training program:

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Up to the Minute News and Weather!

News: (undisclosed location) To welcome the new family, a neighbor made chocolate chip cookies using real butter. They did lick the spoon, consuming a small bit of raw dough, but because the eggs they had used did not contain salmonella, they did not die. This time. However, the spoon was reintroduced into the batter to produce one last sheet of cookies. Although tradition holds that the baking temperature might have been high enough to kill some of that bacteria, there is a chance the new neighbors will get a stomach ache. More on this story at 10.

Weather: some wind was out of control for a while, but now it's not, and there could be rain at some point. Residents are advised to take shelter.