Oh Dear

A guy I know thinks Madonna sucks! Whatever will I do?

Larry Survives a Room Full of Chicks

It must be Larryday in Larryland, and it's likely to be that way for a long time, since he kicked so much butt in our Absolute Body Conditioning class. On his first visit, no less. Sure he could have used his charms, his subtle conversation, his flowing golden locks, and his sexy shoulder moves to distract the room full of pros and take it easy on himself. But he didn't. He showed up early, stayed to the bitter end, and played fair the whole dang time. They say no man can surviive Wednesday ABC for long, that they sneak out the backdoor shaking their heads and go lie around in the stretching room where they can cry and pretend it's sweat. Larry is no longer just the manliest man in all of Bratpackdom, he is now the manliest man in Downstate Illinois! After class he went back to work too, hauling speakers up ladders until the break of dawn when he headed back to his other job. Wow. May Larry jumprope, sprint, bound, sumo-squat, plank, high-knee run, tricep-dip, scissorjack, and lungewalk with the fine asskickers of Wednesday ABC forevah!

King of Pop Turns 20 Today!

Here's to you, Michael Jackson, on your actual birthday! We made you a cookie, but we ated it.

The Week in Review

Minimal Injuries, Great News for Custom Virus
I ushered in the weekend (Sixteen Kendells' huge birthday celebration weekend, BTW) at the White Horse beer garden by crushing my thumb in the backdrop stand, but then nothing worse happened for three entire gigs, making for a pretty lame Injury of the Week. On the other hand, Josh of Seagulls has announced that, using his own lungs and sinuses, he's gotten a head start on our respiratory gunk for the coming winter. Thanks for kicking it off earlier than usual, Josh! We look forward to the long drives home.

That's Our Larry!
Tommy Tubular has reason to suspect that beneath Larry's happy sexy fun exterior, there beats a lonely, complicated heart. TT played us a voicemail he'd received late one night, when we were each busy with post-gig gaieties, leaving poor Larry all alone in a strange town. His words slurred by bare emotion, Larry pleaded for companionship as well as money, to be deposited in his checking account at 1-800-BIT-CHES.

Puzzle People Coming Through
I begged and whined, and finally one of the puzzle winners sent me a teaser. You can try it too. The grand prize is TBA; Deanna and Melissa will vouch for our prompt payment. Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind! Mickey and his fine family all live on Wham! Street. Mickey's mother, Vicky, lives at 2005 Wham! Street. Mickey's cousin, Lucy, lives at 1150 Wham! Street. What address does Mickey live at? Solve that!

Lesson in Love
We've been schooled in why bass players are so totally awesome. It's not their good looks, smooth moves, excellent minds, interesting hobbies, or toned calves. The flourless chocolate cake with homemade raspberry sauce is what makes them irresistible!