With the Use of Amazing Future Technology, We Now Predict the Weather

Due to the presence of tiny suns and secondary clues "0%" and "NNE11" next to 1PM, 2PM, 3PM, 4PM, 5PM, 6PM, 7PM, and 8PM on a smartphone, it is unlikely that rain will interfere with the Elvis and X-Krush portions of today's Fireside Bar & Grill parking lot extravaganza.

However, an eerie grey moon next to 9PM suggests that The Brat Pack's sets may be a mass hallucination triggered by unexpected visits from outer space aliens hiding behind the lonely luminary.

Unless the moon really is made of cheese and we decide to split it with them.

Pre-Teen Pre-Vocational Training Program = Success!

An old favorite joke, reinvented by one of the youngest participants in our summer preteen job training program:

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Hey, That's Not 80s!

Using cutting edge technology, we have succeeded in literally STOPPING time at two separate points, unveiling the shocking truth about a potential relationship between Michael Jackson and a fictional television character of today.

Not yet deceased in the 80s, when this Block Party Beach Party is said to have occurred, MJ could easily have been a deep sea diver without airhoses. Given his trusting personality and love of nature, he might well have danced with a shark.

Our carefully calibrated time-traveling telephotogenetographic instruments have produced documentary evidence suggesting that either MJ traveled into the future to watch the Jack-Tor episode of 30 Rock and take Jack's classic walk moves back to the 80s (undersea) OR that Donaghy paid homage to the master in 2006, which is far less likely, given that 30 Rock is pretend.

We Made a Deal with the City

For our big huge Cowboy Monkey Block Party Beach Party show this Saturday in downtown Champaign in Champaign, Illinois, we might not be allowed to set fires, spray fake blood, or dump fifteen tons of sand, but we WILL be allowed to have clear skies.

The City has moved the inclement weather to Friday and promised us a beautiful night of Beach Partying. As long as we don't call it "Street F***" and in exchange for our participation in their new Summer Teen Jobs Program.

We already have two teens lined up for Brat Pack summer jobs but still don't know their 80s names.

The Brat Pack vs City of Champaign

All we wanna do is have some fun!

We're getting ready for the great big Cowboy Monkey Block Party Beach Party in downtown Champaign, in the heart of glorious Champaign, Illinois, homeland of The Brat Pack and all things awesome. We can't call it a "Street-f***" because it's not an official City function. We might be playing one of those official City Streetf****s later in the summer or distant future or alternative reality, and we won't be calling that a "B**** Party" either, lest confusion lead to rioting. But it gets worse...

How can we have fun if the City won't let us shoot fake blood all over their showmobile? That's an important part of our beach-themed extravaganza! Why can't we set little fires inside that nicely contained stage? They're just little, and they make us sound a lot better. Also, the City might NOT allow us to haul fifteen tons of sand to dump along the street to make a temporary beach so that our beach party show is more believable. And simulating a tsunami? Forget it. They have some kind of ordinances. Public safety and other bureaucratic nonsense.

So here is Lynndi Lauper picking a fight with the Mayor of Champaign who won't let us have any fun because it might make a 'mess' or 'disaster' or whatever.