We might at first be tempted to turn to the Blondie papers for guidance in how to deal with repeated instances of egregious hygiene. As it happens, the fault does truly lie with our own Lynndi Lauper who bears responsibility for the actions of all subcontracted guest appearances. If a hairstyle is too much to ask, then a brush may be useful. If no brush, comb, pick, or set of fingers can perform the magic we seek, Ms. Lauper may find herself with the weekend off too.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Get a Comb
We might at first be tempted to turn to the Blondie papers for guidance in how to deal with repeated instances of egregious hygiene. As it happens, the fault does truly lie with our own Lynndi Lauper who bears responsibility for the actions of all subcontracted guest appearances. If a hairstyle is too much to ask, then a brush may be useful. If no brush, comb, pick, or set of fingers can perform the magic we seek, Ms. Lauper may find herself with the weekend off too.
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11 comments:
maybe she can hang out with Guido and the REAL blonde
Maybe they'll lend her a comb!
Will you ever close the polling for juiciest bass solo? Walkin on Sunshine has clearly won, and since I and my many friends have minimal interest in bass solos (unless they affect TOMMY TUBULAR,) we aren't planning to storm the polls this time. Does Larry's sexy shoulder move have a negative impact on MR. TUBULAR's performance, mood, demeanor, or income? If so, we will organize accordingly.
maybe Guido even has a brush or a rake or some wig glue or something to help Lauper during their weekend off. Do you think he will refuse to hang out with her because she's not very cool or anything like that and he has plans with a real blonde? In fact, if I was Guido (which I could be) I'd try to straighten out the Lauper hair mess BEFORE this weekend just so I could avoid having to hang out with her or even just run into her at the mall. Speaking of shoes, when will rocket powered hi-tops reach the people?
Even though I'm bored with the question about bass solos, I voted for Walkin on Sunshine, figuring that since it's the briefest of all bass solos, it's probably causing TOMMY less discomfort than the others and so is naturally the juiciest.
or if I was someone who cared a whole awful lot about Guido Menudo and his real blonde date, or even if I was just someone who liked him most of the time, such as GI Joe (which I could be), I would probably think seriously about sending Lauper to the hairdresser before Friday just to protect Guido from a chance meeting with her at Blockbuster on Saturday night.
Are you saying that Guido WOULDN'T want to hang out with me? He happens to like my constant nagging and coffee breath and the endless parade of shoes I got at the mall! Go ahead - make me take the weekend off. Guido won't care! He might even give me his phone number!
It's done. Enjoy your time off. Please do not call the bank on Monday and argue that your deposit was botched; they know better.
We've secured a number of imaginary persons to take your place for the St. Patrick's Day program.
"Imaginary persons"?! WTF?
You think imaginary persons can sing and dance and recreate the magic of the 80s and carry the PA? You think imaginary persons can resist the lure of Larry's donkey kick and shoulder move? How are imaginary persons supposed to tip their bartenders or instant message TOMMY that it's time for him to sing? What imaginary person do you know who can reprogram the Jessbot when it malfunctions because Jim Singer mistakes it for a human and feeds it shot after shot of some fancy crap? Whatever. I don't care anyway, because I just know that Guido will tell me where he moved. He's been real busy these last couple of years and just hasn't gotten around to it yet, but I know he'll tell me now. He will.
Some friends and I are a little curious about which "imaginary" folks might have signed up for your project this weekend! Just asking!
Do the blondie papers have anything to do with the blondes are running out of fuel hoax exposed by New Wave Dave, the smartest guy in the band, a few days ago? Do blondes count as imaginary persons?
I don't if this helps. I first began to wonder about a cat's level of intelligence when my oldest son was a baby. He had favorite toys and played with them a certain way. Specific toys had a fascination for him, changing as he grew. By the time my son was 8 months old I noticed an odd similarity between the toys he chose to play with and how he played with them, to the toys of his my cats loved. I still think cats have an intelligence of about an 8 month old baby. So I think I like Blondie.
JV
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