With certain members of this band, I have grown accustomed to deviance from expectation. I have learned when to pursue disciplinary action and when to catch a plane to Paris. But I have perhaps been lulled into a false security with regard to our impeccable, even spectacular, masters of the four and five string basses. Today I learned (thanks JVH!) of a terrible scandal which appears to center around the most perfect being of all - Mr. G. Menudo! (Alas, I should have paid closer attention to The Apprentice and developed a steely resistance to Menudo's charms. He blinded me with silence!) While I am not at liberty to elucidate this most flammable allegation, I can use the opportunity to remind the rest of the Pack about the importance of a thorough understanding of those portions of your contracts specifying which gifts you are not authorized to accept from redheads (e.g., smiles, teddy bears, and - most grievous of all - the monkey.) Now if you will excuse me, I have a plane to catch.
2 comments:
This is one of those scandles that really hits home. I know the first time I got a monkey, I could hardly believe it. First off, I like smiley monkeys without faces. I also find that most teddy bears smell. So here I am with three things, monkeys, smiles and teddy bears. What's a man to do, have sex, or stare angrily. I was torn and I know you would be too, especially if you weren't sure if they knew your last name. Then again, that's besides the point, and I feel that had this happened just once it might have been a fluke. But now I come to find out it's happened to others in the band, and possibly even been a mistake, misrepresented by a friend, and I can only believe that it is because sisters with red aren't thinking about Eye Candy the way I do. I'm sure it'll get sorted out, but I know I'm hot.
Dear The Management,
I know we've had our share of "problems," though nothing you couldn't sort out for me, but I really really really sympathise with your feelings about G. I too have misunderestimated his amazing powers and embarassed myself! So anyhoo, sorry dude!
Love,
Lynndi
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