Some would have given up hope by now. Bass players and their stupid union have way too much power. As if it wasn't enough for them to control all three branches of government and to get away with concealing hundreds of TOMMY's sexiness votes (yeah, pollhost called to report this suspicious activity), now they attempt to bully those of us playing in the higher frequencies. What has the world come to? The phone is ringing off the hook with people crying about how tonight they won't get to see the Jungle Party Love a Lot Care Bear AKA Guido Menudo, and how uncool the rest of us are for not being fully credentialled taco joke tellers. And now Sixteen Kendells, clearly an agent of the union, has taken to dropping little hints that he has somehow assisted New Wave Dave in asserting his superiority at Daddio's. Hey Kendells, I didn't get an MA in crypticology for nothing! But you don't have to worry, Joliet Jen and Dennis Myspace and Matt Myspace Plus Honeys, the non-bass playing segment of this band has plenty of ego strength, computer hacking skills, and sexy threads. We will not be intimidated tonight. We will kick to the gods of rock more gloriously than ever. And we will turn those bossy bass players all the way down in our monitors and do just fine without them!
10 comments:
Ms. Lauper,
If you are not prepared to absorb the essence of this response (I told you so), then rather than reading on, please return to your essential activities: taking out the garbage, lifting weights, practicing the alphabet.
Recall our meeting during the early days of formation of the Bass Players Union. You ignored my seasoned warning against throwing them your superficial support, believing that your true plan could somehow actually be implemented. You failed to carry out my recommendation that Electric Larry be installed as their president for life, knowing of his formidable skills and dedication to undermine them. You, in fact, made fun of Mr. Larry on a number of occasions, reducing him to a sex symbol and mocking his ability to control bass players where it really counts - from the board. But like all chick singers, you spend way too much time watching HBO specials and smoking cigarettes and not enough time repairing your costumes (duct tape? please.) At any rate, you dug your own grave with regard to the excessive power of the Bass Players Union, and tonight you will have to rely heavily on TOMMY's renewed License to Ill and the Jessbot 3000's extremely hip new look. I understand that Josh of Seagulls has been up all night in the lab perfecting dance moves to help in the cause, but unfortunately, his efforts make little sense, as he will be stuck behind the drums all night.
Good luck to you at any rate.
Hmmm...literally pants off the crown huh? G.I. Joe musta been there.
err crowd lol
Hey Kendells!
We saw your "mark" at Daddio's! Jesse said it seemed to be missing several inches, but I'm not sure what he meant by that.
Oh why must you bipedal primates quarrel so? Where is the tenderness, the cuddling, the cream pie? When will you celebrate the 150th Mardi Gras with me?
Indeed, my friend speaks well. Why NOT love?
That's not right. One (or both) of you guys isn't real, and what have you got to do with the 80s?
yea.
JV
Jesse would know.
I don't really know. I was trying to look important. I'm really sorry if i've disappointed anyone. It will hapen again.
JV
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