The Bear orders a thawed entertainer on the rocks. The Bartender asks him "with or without the head". The Bass player blurts out, "he didn't ask for a drummer you jackass".
It's not funny because you're telling it all wrong.
The bear orders a Sex on the Beach, but the bartender, overwhelmed by his inadequacy in the presence of such a majestic, wild, and thirsty beast, tries to make conversation with the White Sox third bass man, in an effort to avoid serving or worse yet provoking the bear. He happens to ask the bass player how it's going with that light bulb. Before fashioning a reply, the bass player jumps from his chair and dashes out the front door, suddenly realizing he had locked the headless drummer in the van. The bear chuckles at this needless hustle and bustle, as he had actually eaten the drummer on his way in. Hence his thirst! Anyway, the bartender connives, in spite of his rising anxiety, to pretend he can't make a Sex on the Beach without that miniature version of the bartender's guide he hastily left in the pocket of his stylish new jacket, hanging just over there in the coat room. His hopes for escape to freedom are dashed when he arrives at the coat room only to find that the Sox bass player had been unsuccessful in changing the lightbulb there. Into the darkness the bartender plummets.
It works so much better when you tell it in full, yes? We call this act "The Aristocrats."
3 comments:
The Bear orders a thawed entertainer on the rocks. The Bartender asks him "with or without the head". The Bass player blurts out, "he didn't ask for a drummer you jackass".
I've heard that one, it's stupid.
JV
It's not funny because you're telling it all wrong.
The bear orders a Sex on the Beach, but the bartender, overwhelmed by his inadequacy in the presence of such a majestic, wild, and thirsty beast, tries to make conversation with the White Sox third bass man, in an effort to avoid serving or worse yet provoking the bear. He happens to ask the bass player how it's going with that light bulb. Before fashioning a reply, the bass player jumps from his chair and dashes out the front door, suddenly realizing he had locked the headless drummer in the van. The bear chuckles at this needless hustle and bustle, as he had actually eaten the drummer on his way in. Hence his thirst! Anyway, the bartender connives, in spite of his rising anxiety, to pretend he can't make a Sex on the Beach without that miniature version of the bartender's guide he hastily left in the pocket of his stylish new jacket, hanging just over there in the coat room. His hopes for escape to freedom are dashed when he arrives at the coat room only to find that the Sox bass player had been unsuccessful in changing the lightbulb there. Into the darkness the bartender plummets.
It works so much better when you tell it in full, yes? We call this act "The Aristocrats."
No no no. That's not it either. Try it like this.
Paulie Walnuts walks into a bar.
He never saw it coming.
And that's how Paulie Walnuts became a headless drummer.
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