Sunday, July 03, 2011

How We're Keeping America Free This Independence Day


The Brat Pack is always doing really really patriotic things, like paying taxes, playing 4th of July shows in the Bahamas, helping old ladies across the street, and providing constant reminders of the greatest decade that ever lived. We gave our lifesize Uncle Sam to a sweet little redhaired girl last year because she reminded us of what makes this nation strong and free. We gave away our gigantic inflatable American flag themed beer cooler too because someone needed it a lot more than we did. And for our greatest, most pro-USA act ever, we will eat as much American grown food as possible this holiday weekend, to keep our economy and biceps strong.

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