Like every other actual business with revenue, expenditures, attorneys, and hundreds of costumes and props, the Brat Pack must now plan its OWN annual holiday party.
Sure we play lots of holiday parties for other workplaces, but that's easy. The naughty things they do in the janitor's closet don't really bother us at all. And when the boss gets up on stage to sit in with the band, that's no sweat either.
But what can people whose business it is to party all year long do for themselves when the season comes along?
CONTEST OF THE WEEK: Describe in 5,000,000 words or less, with photos, video, and emoji optional, the perfect holiday party. Real or imagined. Litigation pending or settled. For The Brat Pack or yourself or anyone.
The most excellent contest entry wins you an exciting holiday-themed gift set, packed with love by our own elves, angels, wise men, Frosty, and various Santas.
5 comments:
My suggestion for the perfect Brat Pack office party would be:
- schedule your party for sometime before 12/21/12 since afterward will be too late.
- meet in a harshly lit room with concrete walls (prefer unpainted), metal folding chairs, and a card table.
- be sure to use valet service so that no one can leave early and make the others feel bad.
- invite only the six bandmembers and Electric Larry, soundman extraordinaire.
- in case someone is too sensitive to sounds, do not provide a soundtrack of any type.
- randomly distribute small pieces of folded paper to each guest, for each to read aloud a separate, horrifying prediction for the future.
- cheese and crackers.
As your boss, I suggest a brief meeting in a public location, such as the library, which has a water fountain in case you need refreshments, and some seating. You may exchange gifts of value or not. Please do not talk about me, as I will have informants among you and nearby.
You guys should rent an office for your office party, invite a bunch of people who come out to your shows, get helium balloons so that everyone can take in those irritating high voices and crack themselves up, eat plenty of potato chips and dip, make xerox copies of your butts, and then call the police. Or just make sure to invite the police in the first place, but they'll be late because they have too much paperwork at the end of their shift, so by the time they get there you'll be xeroxing butts. I would like to be invited. I will message you my personal info so that you can invite me.
Why not just go see the Hobbit and then go out for dinner and drinks, just you and your dates?
Go to Office Max or Staples and have your party a la "guerilla warfare" unannounced in the office furniture diplay area. Make it a pot luck so everyone has bring stuff.
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