All right everyone, now just settle down. I'm here to make sure this whole thing doesn't go south, and I'm just the man to do it. I've been reading some of the blog entries, and have decided we need some rules. I know if this blog is left unchecked it will become a kind of Brat Pack rocket ship flying out of control into some sort of rift in space and time... a space gash, of sorts. Now, if you must question why it is I who get to make the rules, then you obviously don't belong on this blog, so please leave now.......... Is it all clear? Ok, now I shall now outline the laws of the 80's in so far as they apply to blogging, which we all know was invented in '86. First of all, it's got to be funky. If it ain't funky then it sucks. The funkier the better. On a scale of 1 to 10, it should be funk-teen. Numero dos: Please refrain from smoking cigarettes while logged onto this blog, us non-smoking folks appreciate it. Ahem. The third rule is not really a rule - don't fabricate or exaggerate anything on this site, we have to keep it real, people. Lastly, all references to me, TOMMY TUBULAR, shall be done in capital letters. This also includes my aliases: THE FALCONER, T. ALAN FALCONER, TOMMY TWO BEERS, THE CRUSHER, TOMMY G, CAKEY G, NAUGHTY ROCKSTAR, THE BEAST FROM THE EAST, BRODY RON JOHNSTONSENSON, and TOMMY KNOCKERS. I just made that last one up. So much for keeping it real.
7 comments:
O Esteemed LORD FALCONER,
I am so relieved to find you've been released from [prison/mental hospital/stupor/the bowels of hell]so that you can join the party! After all, it's not a party without you.
I am super-embarassed to discover that I've been breaking at least two of the rules already! Some of my previous posts were definitely not funky, and (who told you, anyway?) I've been chain smoking for three days.
When you were a wee lad in the wilderness of Wisconsin, did you pet the hodags?
Hey tommy g, you left a bra and your lipstick at S2X. I'll have em shipped here and you can pick em up on your way to the mental health center.
JV
But you look a little bit like her, or maybe the microphone has me confused.
Hey TOMMY,
When you were, like, a little itty bitty baby in the north woods, did a Hodag family take you in and show you unconditional love in spite of wanting to shred you to pieces for sport? Is that how come you turned out so cool and great?
(Jen, do you have a smoke?)
Oh TOMMY I am so sorry. I have to apologize for just one more thing. I did exaggerate something in an earlier post when I reported hearing the rumor about the dancers and Sasquatch. What I heard was that Solid Gold Jen knew someone who used to hang out with Sasquatch. I got confused before. Sorry. It was probably all the cigarette smoke. I promise no more lies.
Are those the only lies you've told on here, Lauper?
I think I can clear this up. Sasquatch is a nickname for non other than Elektric Larry. That would explain why you heard that friends of Solid Gold Jen were hanging out with Sasquatch because that's you Lynn D. Lauper. Hope that helps.
JV
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