Friday, July 25, 2008

It's About Time


Right before a gig, the band discovered their bass player was missing. Eventually the guitar player found him in a back alley beating the heck out of some guy.
Danny: Dude, what are you doing?
Mario: This guy de-tuned one of my strings!
Venckman: But why are you beating him up?
Mario: He won't tell me which one.


Three men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven. St. Peter asks the first man, "What did you do on Earth?"
Johnny: I was a doctor.
St. Peter: Go right through those pearly gates.
St. Peter, to the next guy.: And what did you do on Earth?
Darth: I was a school teacher.
St. Peter: Go right through those pearly gates.
St. Peter, to the last guy: And what did you do on Earth?
Chewie: I was a bass player.
St. Peter: Go around the side, up the freight elevator, down the first long hallway, through the kitchen, down another narrow hallway...

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Never mind. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

How many good bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Good luck trying to find him.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to hold the bulb and two to drink 'till the room spins.


How can you tell if there was a bass player at last week's session?
He's still there.

What does a bass player say when he gets to his gig?
"Would you like fries with that?"


How do you keep a bass player in suspense?

2 comments:

Don Gerard said...

How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but the guitar player has to show him how do to it.

Punky said...

What are the the most useless things in the world?

A bass solo and the pope's balls