Double or Nothing?

I’ve searched the world over for a puzzle, a conundrum that might stump our Contest Prize Winner and her pal, The Other Contest Prize Winner, but I keep coming up short. Meanwhile, she happened to win another weekly trivia, sinking us deeper in debt. So how about a wager, putting it all on a Brat Pack trivia contest, only not with questions about the 80s or about the movie stars known as “the Brat Pack,” but with questions about this Brat Pack, a bunch of people you can’t easily google. Questions about stuff that even our mothers might not know! Great. Let’s get started.



Which “members” of the Brat Pack choose compression over commando?
a. the rhythm section
b. everyone except the rhythm section
c. Electric Larry
d. Jesse Van Halen and Tommy Tubular
e. none of the above

What famous Hollywood movie did Josh of Seagulls star in?
a. Finding Nemo
b. The Dukes of Hazzard
c. Hurly Burly
d. The Country Bears
e. Deathproof
f. Walking Tall

Who looks better in a skirt?
a. Guido Menudo
b. Lynndi Lauper
c. All of the above

What do you suppose Tommy Tubular does with his free time?
a. studies hard, parties harder, burps babies, books bands
b. ichats all day with bff Ed Van Halen, rides bike through enchanted forests
c. hangs out at cafes working on a novel
d. fixes airplane engines, reads science fiction novels
e. eats bonbons, practices aromatherapy
f. it is unknown

Which member of the Brat Pack is a certified sexuality educator?
a. Tommy Tubular
b. Josh of Seagulls
c. Lynndi Lauper
d. Jesse Van Halen
e. Guido Menudo
f. New Wave Dave
g. Sixteen Kendells
h. Electric Larry

Which member of the Brat Pack is some kind of martial arts expert?
a. Tommy Tubular
b. Josh of Seagulls
c. Lynndi Lauper
d. Jesse Van Halen
e. Guido Menudo
f. New Wave Dave
g. Sixteen Kendells
h. Electric Larry

Which member of the Brat Pack is a licensed pyrotechnician?
a. Tommy Tubular
b. Josh of Seagulls
c. Lynndi Lauper
d. Jesse Van Halen
e. Guido Menudo
f. New Wave Dave
g. Sixteen Kendells
h. Electric Larry

Which member of the Brat Pack has a license to ill?
a. Tommy Tubular
b. Josh of Seagulls
c. Lynndi Lauper
d. Jesse Van Halen
e. Guido Menudo
f. New Wave Dave
g. Sixteen Kendells
h. Electric Larry

What is New Wave Dave’s “Wham Line?”
a. Culture Club
b. Bananarama
c. New Edition
d. Wham
e. The Police
f. Whitesnake

More Things We Saw in Space that Will Blow Your Mind!!!

We saw a zombie (I think he was a zombie - he had a pencil sticking out of his shoulder, so I just assumed.)
And we saw a zombie hunter!
We saw a mysterious outer space alien waving hi.
And then we saw Dog, Bounty Hunter, probably chasing after the mysterious space alien who was waving hi.
We saw a pimpin Dr. T (AKA Dr. Terry, man with the shots.)When we saw the Parents of the Future, we got nervous and had Scotty beam us back up.

Happy Halloween from the Space Gash!

While we were out there drifting around, we learned that space is filled with hott chix dressed as pirates and cops, the fuel of the future is popcorn, not all the guys in red shirts have to die, it's logical to dance with a Klingon, genetic engineering can be dangerous, and a little bit of crotch never hurts when you're boldly going where no man has gone before.

Here's a Scene We Carefully Reenacted this Weekend

I See Dead Rock Stars

Tommy sent this link as a friendly reminder:

Average Age at Death of Included Rock Stars (1) 36.9 Years
Average Age at Death of Americans (2) 75.8 Years

Happy Haunting!

It Appears We Are Easily Replaced

So the Brat Pack showed up at our gig. They looked and smelled and sounded better than we do, and they walked away with real cash, not that paper fun money we're so loose with. The Guido was late, as were two out of four Lynndi Laupers. The Tommy Tubular even busted a classic Tommy move, a pose we lovingly call "wtf is wrong with my amp?"

Oh, Screw It

After Friday night's Halloween Party at Jillian's, we had so many bruises, cuts, and ailments that trying to pick a winner only added to our stress and pain. Do you think our regular "Injury of the Week" feature is bringing some kind of bad mojo and should perhaps be discontinued before someone really gets it?

Can We See That Again?

It's just so delightfully complex.

Injury of the Week IS an Amazing Scientific Discovery!

This is a picture of Sixteen Kendells showing off his mostly normal hand, sometime before October 19, when it was still mostly normal. Before he turned into a religious freakshow.




And this is a "borrowed," photo-shopped, mirror-image of a simulated approximation of what his hand sort of looked like just after being attacked by the monitor board during load-in last Friday night. Creepy, huh? We're thinking we could make some extra cash off this because who doesn't love some gory stigmata?

Time for a Picture of Tommy in a Swirling Whirl of Nonsense

That's Tommy Tubular pretending to be Captain James TIBERIUS (not "Tubular" or even "Totally") Kirk dressed up as Run DMC considering whether to boldly make out with Yoda as they drift through a chillingly desolate wormhole guided only by the glow of a stained Brat Pack backdrop and a large out-of-focus post. I sure hope those cans don't fall on their heads because it would be hard to work any references to the Karate Kid into this one.

Amazing Scientific Discoveries, Part 299 792 458 m/s

Space, the final frontier.

Larry went to Chicago to have the flux capacitor repaired. He made it back okay, though he missed ABC class in the effort.

Now that we have sufficient power to mess with the space/time continuum again, we'll be going where no man has gone before, i.e. the space gash.

With luck, we'll find intelligent life or some cool rocks out there.

Injury of the Week: Poor Little Neglected Blog

Tsk, tsk, Brat Pack. What have you been doing that's so much more important than posting on your blog?
Just remember that if you neglect your responsibilities long enough, they'll eventually be outsourced to some guy who's like three times smarter than you and willing to do it for half the pay, and then everyone will laugh at you and call you a stupid loser. So post something already, ding-dongs.

Guess What Tommy Tubular's Doing Tonight?

Believe this: Tommy Tubular (AKA the Brett Favre of Guitar) is actually watching the real Van Halen LIVE in concert FOR REAL.

No lie.

Amazing Scientific Discoveries, Part 5

Uncle Jeff, Noted Astrophysicist, writes to say that he went ahead and read the article by Rosenkranz, Williamon, and Rothwell from Journal of Neuroscience 27(19):5200-6, 2007 May 9. He correctly assumed that we'd never get around to reading it (but would say we did) and sent highlights:

p.5200 "Musicians not only have extraordinary motor and sensory skills, but they also have an increased ability to learn new tasks compared with non-musicians."

p.5200 "Similarly, musicians who started musical training before 7 years of age learn a timed motor sequence task much better than musicians who started later or non-musicians."


p.5203 "These features are compatible with the idea that both motorcortical excitability and plasticity are heightened in musicians. Because some of these changes depend on the age at which instrumental playing commenced, we hypothesize that they reflect adaptation to long-term musical practice."

p.5204 "Indeed, changes in gray matter are larger in musicians who started earlier, and they reflect the choice of instrument, consistent with a causal connection between presumed synaptic growth and the duration and pattern of training."


p.5205 "the number of hours of practice is well known to relate to musical skill"

p.5205 "Our experiments do not directly assess whether increased synaptic plasticity is produced by musical training, as a complex motor task and also a multimodal-sensory and emotional experience, or whether it is a genetic trait of successful musicians. However, some parameters correlated significantly with the age at which playing commenced as well as with practice intensity over the last 5 years."


p.5205 "Although this does not completely rule out any preselectional bias, it seems likely that some of the changes of excitability and plasticity are a consequence of long-term musical practice."

p.5205 "These changes may represent a beneficial adaptation in response to long-term musical training"


That's a lot of science for one day, so you're probably glad I skipped the bass player joke.

Amazing Scientific Discoveries, Part 4

As it happens, one of our Contest Prize Winners is also an accomplished comparative biologist! She submitted this documentary evidence that love conquers all.

Injury of the Week: We Forgot Our Own Anniversary!!

Wow. When we turned 11 on October 1, outlasting even the 80s, we completely spaced it out because it happened on a Monday! Everyone knows that for musicians, Mondays don't exist.


We got back on the My Little Pony when we suddenly remembered our anniversary 5 days later and decided it wasn't too late to give ourselves flowers and candy and a good old fashioned whippin.

Maybe I should blow something up

Hmmmm. Maybe I'll blow some stuff up (very legally) on Tuesday, October 9th, in Crystal Lake Park in Urbana, Il, at around 8:15pm.

Hmmmmm.

Well, just maybe, if people ask real nice.

Time for a Picture of Tom and Me in Matching Hats?

Amazing Scientific Discoveries, Part 3.14159265

People who do yoga can read your mind.

Beware the Contest Prize Winner Who Has Yet to Collect Her Winnings

First they win one or two little contests, and they laugh and say "Oh it's really no problem that you haven't sent me the stuff you promised yet. I can wait."

Before you know it they have gained control of your soundman's mind by forcing him to slam a zillion Jager bombs and making him stay up all night in a casino. A couple of years later they assure you, after winning EVERY OTHER contest you ever have, that "not getting any prizes at all, even though a heck of a lot of interest has accrued, is really really okay."

If you've been through all of that like we have, you better start to worry that your Contest Prize Winner is after something much much bigger - your eternal soul.
Pictured here with Larry and a total stranger is Deanna, Winner of Every Prize Not Won by Melissa "Mole," not pictured here but equally clever and out to get us.

Isn't It About Time for a Picture of Tom in a Sexy Mesh Shirt?

Even if it has to be sideways.

Amazing Scientific Discoveries, Part 1

When he's not holed up in The Seagulls Foundation's top secret basement laboratory, Josh hangs out at the public library, enjoying a good graphic novel and a refreshing carbonated beverage(decaf, please!) or just shooting the breeze with amateur anthropologists. This week, he uncovered a little known historical fact: cell phones weren't very popular in the 80s.
A picture of Guido Menudo taking an important call during a song. This couldn't have happened in the 80s. Or could it?

Working the Bootyus Maximus

It must be Wednesday if Electric Larry, Dr. T, and Lynndi Lauper are chillin at Absolute Body Conditioning class, waiting for some bass players to show up. Our custom jumpropes have been pre-tested on barefeet, so we're ready to go.

David Lee Roth - "I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

Brat Pack Automation

In an effort to reduce the minuscule amount of physical labor that I do, I have invented “Roadie-Bot.”

Roadie-Bot does some amazing things. He carries gear with unprecedented strength. He convinces previously impervious fans to purchase T-Shirts and CD’s. And, perhaps most important, he is completely immune to the sexual advances that the many HOT lady-fans of The Brat Pack normally direct towards me.

I’m not sure how to thank Roadie-Bot for his help. I think maybe his next quart of 10W-40 is on me.

Amazing Scientific Discoveries, Part 0.666

Using the most advanced, top secret, costly technology, blogger is able to figure out if you are a robot, and it will let you know within 24 hours.

Most of you probably already knew that, so allow me to blow your mind with another Amazing Scientific Discovery about blogger. It can actually DELETE your blog from someone else's link list without them knowing it! Or maybe not!

It's An 80s Movie, Dammit

I know this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy's BROTHER who posted this in the comments section of a blog somewhere out there. Be sure to watch it with your eyes closed because it changes everything.

Tales of the Roadie

I think it's worth mentioning that there's a new Tales of the Roadie question-and-answer entry on my MySpace blog.

Amazing Scientific Discoveries, Part 0.25

Earlier this evening, I checked in with Josh of Seagull's computational myophysiology team leader, Dr. T, and learned what that group has been working on in the Seagulls Foundation's top secret basement laboratory. I can't tell you all the details because they're very scientific, but I came away with one exciting conclusion of their well-funded research: never jump rope in bare feet.

Isn't It About Time for a Picture of Tom's Crotch?

The Truth about Our Many Wounds

I'm sorry to disagree with the darling Mr. Kendells, but this week we can barely declare an Injury of the Week for all the trials we have endured! See how well we buck up that our road/stage/lifestyle manager didn't even realize the depth of our anguish?


Slipped Tongue. Poor Tommy Tubular. He had more malapropisms than he has in a long time. This could be evidence of his previous tongue injury (from foot in mouth) not responding well to therapy (washing it out with soap.) Larry checked the gear and couldn't find any electronic cause for Tommy's recent vocal impairment. Should we worry that he's in the early stage of AtM Disorder?

Split Fingertips.You and I can laugh all we want about dry peeling splitting skin and make fun of people who buy and use expensive, girly moisturizers. We can think of them as suckers, but when they start slamming those crusty bleeding digits across a keyboard, all I can say is OW OW OW. You better believe Jesse Van Halen was hitting the Spongebob bandages hard.

Scorched Retina. Oh my eyes will probably never recover from the things I saw this weekend. I'm thinking about assembling a team of top ophthalmologists, opticians, behavioral optometrists, vision therapy providers, CGI animators, and corneal topographers.

Menudo Gets the Last Word. So there we were at the end of Saturday night's exciting visit to Tailgater's in Bolingbrook, reminiscing about all the fun we had. Guido smiled as he lifted the million pound steel plates and said he had saved the worst job for last. I was blathering on and on about how amazing it was to get through the whole weekend without anyone being clobbered by those plates. Just then, Guido set the plate down and bent over to hold his shin.

Only one minor injury!

Kudos to the band for not having any major injuries this weekend. That's a nice change.

I heard that Guido had a "plate" related incident, but it apparently didn't deter him from cheering on his White Sox! Hope you enjoyed the game dude! (You certainly didn't enjoy the Chi-Bear's game.)

I trust that God will ensure that we have an equally safe couple of gigs next week. I'm sure because we wish only happiness to all that we see.

In the mean time, be good, or not. I really don't care.

K'Dub

I'm no expert, butt....

I witnessed a "single Colorado reach-around reverse ariel" for the first time tonight. That takes both strength and stamina.

What else can I look forward to this weekend? Another Cowboy's victory?

Going "Into The Cave"

It's a little known fact that computer programmers must put themselves into "solitary confinement" in order to actually accomplish anything. It's really the opposite for performers, who must have a crowd to be successful.

I've been in the "programming cave" for a few days now, and am about ready to come out to play. Is anyone cool coming to Sliderz Friday? I dig that place, and know a few people there (from my times mixing for That 90's Band.) If not, are The Brat Pack's newest groupies coming from Joliet to Bolingbrook this weekend? I have a good feeling about both gigs...looking forward to anything that doesn't look like a computer monitor!

Let's Rock!

O! How They Suffer for Their Art

Boo hoo.

I Feel Sorry for The Brat Pack

It must be so hard to be them, always gorging on excellent food like the wings and chocolate cake at Heroes West just before they perform. How in the world can they get any blood back to their brains from their stomachs in order to remember those very difficult tunes they play? And further, how can they hop around on one foot or sway back and forth all night while drinking shot after shot of free liquor? It's a wonder the guy with the hat doesn't hurl all over himself from headbanging while drinking. Worse yet, they must all be blind as bats to look out on the sea of hot chicks and not be completely devastated. They really have the toughest job around, keeping their cool in the face of these distractions.

Gig-Injury Remedies

After careful consideration, I believe my pinched finger injury is far less serious than Lynn's knee injury. It turns out that a HUGE Cowboys Victory over the Bears is a very good remedy for a pinched finger.

Similarly, Diamond Dave should make sure that the Pittsburgh Steelers continue to win, as their wins somehow seem to prevent backdrop/plate injuries.

Lynn, it might be time to consider another new career. Using pneumatic machines on yourself to test knee-braces, just for the sake of setting ISO standards, might not be the career you were destined for. Maybe you should try singing in a band, or otherwise helping people?

Pinched Finger or Bruised Knee: Which Do YOU Prefer?

This week's Injury of the Week is a tie between my left knee, repeatedly smashed into the corner of a speaker throughout the weekend, and Kendell's pinched finger, which is now a swollen, blistered, throbbing, disgusting, yet somehow impossible to look away from, mess. So we put it to you, gentle reader: which is worse, the gradual chipping away of my patella or Kendell's monstrously disfigured digit?

P.S. Happy Birthday, Tommy Tubular!

We Have a Winner

The author and star of About the Girl has officially won our zillion dollar prize by guessing that the famous 80s star I REALLY SAW was this friend of hers. She knows other fabulous celebrities of the 80s such as Billy Idol, Cheap Trick, Van Halen, Run DMC, Madonna, and Combo Audio. Or some of those. Congratulations Stephanie, your check's in the mail!