Today's Big Headlines are Like a Time Warp!

Yesterday's superstars have been very very busy making headlines, movies, and sometimes bail. Let's snoop.

Hangin out is Always Hype.

Hollywood Gossip reports that Tone Loc was arrested for domestic violence last Saturday and goes on about his arrest record and professional life, noting that he is "perhaps known for his gravelly voice and laid-back attitude." Perhaps!

Bigger Than Blogposts?
You can barely open a newspaper app on your smartphone without a head-on collision with stars from the 80s! Three of four huge celebs below have something in common. Guess what it is! And the odd man out has also found a way to stay relevant. Try to guess that too. Maybe you'll win some valuable trademarked product for having the best answer!

Hittin the Mall.
If you didn't catch 2011's "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid" starring none other than Tiffany, who really really really can't do anything wrong, then you're nuts! The 80s truly IS the future.

Not only is Tiffany more beautiful and talented than ever, but she gets to hang out with other retirees, such as Dennis Rodman, also in the news for shoving.

Another Deal Gone Sour

Well, once the boys finished shooting the "high-budget" feature Hot Buttered Elves (coming to a quality adult cineplex near you, X-mas 2007), they were sure they'd be paid for their services. I mean, everyone had performed as contracted, and when "Mike," the producer, said they'd be paid "after a while," you can imagine.... Not that they won't pursue further "acting" options, but you can bet they won't be working with "Mike" again.

Alice in Satan's Domain

Where I work, you see a lot of things. Some good, mostly bad, some you'd never want to see, some you'll never forget. As a Soul Crusher, I think I've seen just about the worst. This was too much, though. Those glaring eyes, like the pimiento in a martini olive, boring into you, demanding more than you can ever give. Christ on a Crutch. You can understand why the king sent her on her way. She'll be back though, you can just tell.

Every Picture Tells A Story...Oops, Wrong Decade...[Insert J. Geils Band Lyric Here]

Meanwhile, downstairs at the Bada Bing, cryogenically frozen entertainers are thawed out in preparation for Paulie Walnuts' impending birthday bash.

So, a guitarist, a headless drummer and a bear walk into a bar...