Zombie vs. Magical Hair - Who Will Win?

For too long, the Brat Pack has been overwhelmed, tormented, stalked, harassed, and feasted upon by zombies who use spells and evil voodoo potions to get past security.

Last weekend, just when Michael Jackson was about to sample the tasty brains of new Brat Sam Kind of Wonderful, our superhero bass player Alex in Chains rolled in with her magical spinning hair to confuse and repel the most undead of all our special uninvited guest singers.

He retreated in pretend shame, but we know he'll be back, so we're packing lots of hairspray from now on.

Hey, That's Not 80s!

Using cutting edge technology, we have succeeded in literally STOPPING time at two separate points, unveiling the shocking truth about a potential relationship between Michael Jackson and a fictional television character of today.

Not yet deceased in the 80s, when this Block Party Beach Party is said to have occurred, MJ could easily have been a deep sea diver without airhoses. Given his trusting personality and love of nature, he might well have danced with a shark.

Our carefully calibrated time-traveling telephotogenetographic instruments have produced documentary evidence suggesting that either MJ traveled into the future to watch the Jack-Tor episode of 30 Rock and take Jack's classic walk moves back to the 80s (undersea) OR that Donaghy paid homage to the master in 2006, which is far less likely, given that 30 Rock is pretend.

You Wouldn't Believe Who Told This Joke

Why did Michael Jackson rush over to the KMart?

Because he heard little boys' pants were half-off.