Saturday, February 11, 2006

New Wave Dave's Night Off

What does New Wave Dave do on his many nights off from the Brat Pack? I'm glad you asked! Here is a short list of his important duties as back up Brat Pack bass player:
  • Rewatch all movies starring one of the Cory's
  • Clean, press, and organize the band's parachute pants collection
  • Test new 80's props for durability, flexibility, and fun-ability
  • Master the facial expressions of Anthony Michael Hall
  • Write petition to bring back New Coke
  • Do 80 push-ups and 80 sit-ups
  • Relax with a good issue of Tiger Beat

Friday, February 10, 2006

Oh Why Did the Grammies Have to Suck So Bad?

Prince without a Revolution? Aerosmith with no Run DMC? Sting on his own, no Police protection? It's enough to make a man act like the Easter Bunny. As if this wasn't confusing enough, I didn't notice a single appearance by Flock of Seagulls, AC/DC, the GoGos, Bon Jovi, Blondie, or Devo. Were they backstage gagged and bound by all those bodybuilder divas? They didn't even have the ghost of Michael Jackson there to judge a moonwalk contest. On the upside, there was a pretty convincing Madonna impersonator, and some guys who looked a little like U2 won something or at least acted like they did.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Like DJ Katy Said It Would Be

That's DJ Katy squashed somewhere among us at S2X in Cool City. She told us we'd do it, she told the audience we'd do it, so we altered the space/time continuum and set up at New Wave Dave was the mastermind, but he's not evil enough to poison the guys who already claimed "bratpack" and "thebratpack" over there. Don't worry - there's time, and I'm on the case. We already have friends and fair-weather friends and friends of friends and friends who act like they don't recognize us when they see us in public and friends who make us not need enemies. But we couldn't let the world's hottest DJ down, right?

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I Told You GI Joe Was Trouble

Didn't I warn you that GI Joe is always ready to drop trou? Even after Sixteen Kendells hauled him off the Tommy G's stage this weekend, he snuck right back on just in time to slip out of the shiny silver Brat Pack Dancer pants and show off his stylin' briefs. He wasn't even drunk or anything!

Here's more proof of his bad influence. With the tiny spy camera hidden in my corsage at our Christmas Party, I snapped these photos of Joe telling TOMMY how funny it would be to smash a beer bottle over the mouse's head once they lured it in with promises of rock stardom and cheese. Poor TOMMY - everyone's trying to spoil his image. I wouldn't be surprised to learn it was Joe who slipped me the mickey (careful, that's a pun) that made me think TOM was a Willy Wonka toy.

What the Sharp Dressed Man is Wearing Down Under

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Separated at Birth!

I really was the real Madonna all along!

Separated at Birth?

One is a tennis star from the 80s, and the other is New Wave Dave disguised as that very same tennis star from the 80s. See if you can figure out who is who!

Separated at Birth?

Sometimes when we're playing, I look over at TOMMY and think he's really a Willy Wonka Action Figurine. Who could blame me?

Separated at Birth?

Okay, who would you trust with your most fragile calculations - Josh or Al?

Separated at Birth?

One of these pictures is Guido at an ISU gig, and the other is the Jungle Party Love-A-Lot Care Bear. Even in person it's hard to tell the difference, since when you rub their tummies, they both squeek, "I love you! How about a hug?"

Separated at Birth?

I give up. You tell me which one is the Jessbot 3000 and which is Lieutenant Commander Data of the Starship Enterprise.

Separated at Birth?

Electric Larry and Something from Fraggle Rock. You have to look really carefully to see any difference. It's spooky.