Halloween TKO

BFFs Mean Gene and Bad Pat.

Can I Just Tell This Joke ONE More Time, PLEASE!!!

I love this joke. I saw it on the bathroom wall at the gym. I love it because I can remember most of it, and it's short enough that I don't start cracking up until it's almost all the way out of my mouth.


I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
And then it hit me.

Larry's Halloween Decorations

Sparing no expense, Electric Larry got his porch all ready for those cute little trick or treaters. I wonder what he'll be passing out to the neighborhood tykes this year.

It Looked So Dangerous

What if the guitar had cooties?
What if Tom's tongue was wet, and he got electrocuted?
What if he missed, causing an unconventional tuning?

Shh! You'll wake the spiders.

We'll talk about this later.

It's About Time

Right before a gig, the band discovered their bass player was missing. Eventually the guitar player found him in a back alley beating the heck out of some guy.
Danny: Dude, what are you doing?
Mario: This guy de-tuned one of my strings!
Venckman: But why are you beating him up?
Mario: He won't tell me which one.


Three men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven. St. Peter asks the first man, "What did you do on Earth?"
Johnny: I was a doctor.
St. Peter: Go right through those pearly gates.
St. Peter, to the next guy.: And what did you do on Earth?
Darth: I was a school teacher.
St. Peter: Go right through those pearly gates.
St. Peter, to the last guy: And what did you do on Earth?
Chewie: I was a bass player.
St. Peter: Go around the side, up the freight elevator, down the first long hallway, through the kitchen, down another narrow hallway...

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Never mind. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

How many good bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Good luck trying to find him.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to hold the bulb and two to drink 'till the room spins.


How can you tell if there was a bass player at last week's session?
He's still there.

What does a bass player say when he gets to his gig?
"Would you like fries with that?"


How do you keep a bass player in suspense?

Musician Jokes are Better than Redneck Jokes

Why are so many guitarist jokes one liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them.


What kind of burglar is stealthy and agile?


For some reason, there aren't any good lead singer jokes.

Caught Lip Synching!

I heard that someone said we were lip-synching at the Streetfest, and I thought about how wonderful it would be if that were true. We would have so much extra time, not to mention fewer injuries and better gas mileage, if we didn't have to mess with all that stupid gear for hours before and after every show. (We might still have to help Larry with the PA though. Ha.)

After that I thought how nice it would be to have a voice for talking the day after the show... and if we could have skipped all the vocal cord injuries last year!

Imagine all the lithium batteries we wouldn't have to pay for and recycle if we could just turn off all our wireless equipment and pretend!

And then I remembered that we did have a guest star - the Imposter Madonna - who was lip-synching for like 3.6 minutes while I stood next to her dressed as Darth Vader and did the actual singing behind my evil mask. Well, crap.

more graph humor and song chart memes

Happy Fourth!

I don't really care that we're a week late with this! Enjoy.

Things We Heart

- Super Paper Mario
- World Travel
- Speculating about the identity of the last of the Final Five
- Not getting a haircut
- Rock Island
- Rock Island Brewing Co.
- The Brat Pack Basket at Rock Island Brewing Co.
- Magnetic bumper stickers
- The rapidly approaching one year anniversary of our trip to the Bahamas which ended on the now infamous and astro-numerically significant date 7/7/07
- This jacket

Rock v. Hard Place

Guido and I have it pretty rough. When we're onstage trapped in the middle of the Pack, we have no escape from intimidating visions such as these.




Psychotherapy, meditation, yoga, drugs, ECT, and really dark sunglasses have helped a little, but these days we're tapping into the astro-numeric forces of the benificent universe, hoping the magical number "37" will unlock the space gash and free our minds of crotch-shot anxiety forever.

Getting in on the Meme

It's Internet Traditions Awareness Week all across the blogosphere, and we have nothing better to do than copy off everyone else.



And check this out:



Even Rick Astley knew way back when...



Now you try it!

Happy Wednesday

more graph humor and song chart memes

Your History Lesson: BP v1.5

A very early version (late 96 or early 97) of the Brat Pack in classier days.

Along with Tommy, Guido, and Jesse, this press photo featured the ever lovely Dawna Madawna and Boi Ian, both of whom might drop by around Christmas if we've been very very good.

Your History Lesson: BP v2.125

Behold a second version of the second lineup of the majestic Brat Pack, circa 1998 (one of several 'no chick singer' combinations.)


And then behold the mighty five-piece (Tom, Guido, Ian, Jesse, and Andy Lund!!!) with some hotties over at Lizards Lounge in Bloomington later that evening. Maybe things really were better back then.

I'm So Sorry I Could Cry

There's a really good reason for the lack of blog posts here. But it's a big secret.

The Brat Pack Basket

What a surprise when we got done loading in at RIBCO this Friday and discovered we've finally made it onto their menu!



Here's a close-up in case you don't believe.



If you still can't tell what that said, I'll quote: "The perfect meal for the little kid in you! Home-style breaded chicken tenders served with our breaded Brew City fries and your choice of dipping sauce...$7.99. Dial it up a notch and try blazing Buffalo style...$8.59."

What do they mean by that?

Good Science Uses Diagrams and Stuff

It's Almost Like a Theme or Something

How To Do The Thriller

Anonymous Was Impressed So We're Bringing MORE

How To Do The Cabbage Patch

We're Gearing Up for the Weekend

How To Do The Robot

Come on Down to the Brat Pack Show and Get Your Bling

All the cool kids are doing it.

This is Beau the Rad. He looks good in just about any headgear or eyeglass, so it's not like we're bragging, but come on! What other 80s cover band dresses up the pets?

Tommy Teased the Candy and Made it Cry

Can M&Ms melt themselves if you're really really mean to them? We'll find out.

I Can't Think of a Good Reason to Post This

(photo by PEG!!!)

Oh! Did We Sleep Through Easter?

You can't blame the Easter Bunny for the crap ass weather that ruined our plans that weekend. It's hardly the fault of the resurrection of Jesus that some of us were wounded beyond the standard of the defunct Injury of the Week. Even the Vernal Equinox should not be issued a citation for failure to let me win the lottery. No, these things are not connected at all. Sorry we forgot to post a picture of Josh dressed as a Peep being shoved to the floor of the dressing room of a bar by deities. That would have probably made the holiday a lot smoother.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Whatever It Means

Jesse's calling about that pot of gold. He was told for sure he'd find it at the rainbow's end, but when he got there, all he got was a muddy shoe. He'll get it straightened out though.


Representing the pagans! (I do believe in fairies. I do. I do.)


Tommy says don't forget about all the Irish Protestants.


The luckiest bear in the world just wants to snuggle or get into the groove or something. He would probably help St. Patrick drive away those pesky snakes if he were in Ireland and they were still a problem. If they were actually a problem.


Josh O'Seagulls recalls some Irish toasts:

"May you never forget what is worth remembering,
Or remember what is best forgotten."

"May you be in heaven one half hour before the devil knows you're dead."

"As you slide down the banisters of life may the splinters never point the wrong way."


"I've drunk to your health in the pubs,
I've drunk to your health in my home,
I've drunk to your health so many times,
That I've almost ruined my own."

Our pal Ralf Lipp took these pictures. You can check him out at http://www.RockShowPhotos.SmugMug.com/

Who Hates Leprechauns?

It's Gettin Hard Out Here for a Leprechaun

Science!

Look what Josh of Seagulls has been working on in his top secret basement laboratory in preparation for Easter treats!! It's really thrilling research which should help make this coming holiday a heckuva lot safer for the Peeps and less traumatic for the kids who eat them and run wild.

He also inadvertantly discovered a link between St. Patrick's Day and Peeps, making the whole season feel a lot more logical!

Just Sayin'

It's a preview of the St. Patrick's Day Party Package we're bringing.

Feeling a Little Crazy on Sunday

Now I've really done it. I dyed my hair fuschia or pink or whatever, and tomorrow morning I have to go to WORK. Work, where I actually have a dress code! I'm trying on wigs right now.

What's So Awesome about Larry?

Larry meets us at the gym on Sunday afternoon for AABC (Amateur Absolute Body Conditioning,) and he goes along with our increasingly wild ideas (jump rope, lunge walk, pikes on the ball, inchworms, frogs, leapfrogs, beats,) troubleshooting the sound system all the while. He does it even if he had to stay up all night at the gas station waiting for the fistfight to end so he could go in and pay. He does it even if he's got to go pull a PA right afterward. That's why Larry's so awesome.