Thursday, December 06, 2012

CONTEST OF THE WEEK: Please Tell the Brat Pack How to Party

Like every other actual business with revenue, expenditures, attorneys, and hundreds of costumes and props, the Brat Pack must now plan its OWN annual holiday party.
 
Sure we play lots of holiday parties for other workplaces, but that's easy. The naughty things they do in the janitor's closet don't really bother us at all. And when the boss gets up on stage to sit in with the band, that's no sweat either.
 
But what can people whose business it is to party all year long do for themselves when the season comes along?
 
 
CONTEST OF THE WEEK: Describe in 5,000,000 words or less, with photos, video, and emoji optional, the perfect holiday party. Real or imagined. Litigation pending or settled. For The Brat Pack or yourself or anyone. 
 
The most excellent contest entry wins you an exciting holiday-themed gift set, packed with love by our own elves, angels, wise men, Frosty, and various Santas.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Contest of the Week: WTF?

Oh help.
We can no longer make sense of things.
Just when we thought Brendan Goes to Hollywood was really Justin Bieber in an authentic 90s Gwen Stefani costume, which seemed obvious...


He turned into Slash Gwen Stefani.


Very confusing because we thought this was Slash.


If you can explain these ever changing 'almost totally 80s' identities, this week's fine prize is a twenty second hug, the correct amount of embrace-time for an enhanced sense of well-being and trust in our fellow man. Or a trophy, as you prefer.


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

News, Sports, and Weather Update

News
It seems like we're constantly hearing something new about news or science or whatever. Only yesterday we learned that dancing releases oxytocin, although there were no specific details about stomping down the street with a gang of ghouls. Today the great news is that zombies, like everyone else, can compare their actual diet with ideal and berate themselves. With luck, zombies can become depressed or anorexic and stop bothering everyone.



Sports
Who doesn't love soccer? Soccer might be the ultimate 'almost totally 80s' sport, and there's no reason to expect that banshees wouldn't show up there too, although maybe following somewhat different rules.

 
 
Weather
The Brat Pack continues to be hopeful about lovely October weather for our Friday show at Fat City, so that we can party with you under the stars. We'll check our weather apps every few seconds until it's time to set up (or a couple of hours after we set up). If there's any hint of foul weather, we will move it inside for the safety and comfort of all.

 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Contest of the Week: What Would (you make) Tommy Tubular Do?

Maybe the question is really "What WOULDN'T Tommy Tubular do to perform with The Brat Pack?" He says he wants to sit in when we play at Boomerang's (Saturday, September 29) and that he'll do ANYTHING for it. Based on the following photographic evidence, he might be serious.


He would dress up as leprechaun and dance a jig.


He would kiss a frog right in front of St. Patrick.


He would eat an entire guitar.


And he would wear a speedo in January.

Given what you now know about him, what should Tommy Tubular have to do to get onstage with The Brat Pack next weekend?

Friday, September 21, 2012

Behind this Week's Contest of the Week: The Truth About Dinner

This week's Contest of the Week was to identify (or invent) the three course meal plus alcoholic dessert created by BGtH and JvH. The winner came up with something absolutely delicious sounding, so she wins a high quality long-sleeved, full color Brat Pack tee shirt for her creative contribution.
 
But now we feel obligated to present the truth. The truth about what they prepared and consumed that fateful evening.
 
Brendan Goes to Hollywood was the shopping assistant and sous chef for the event. Here he catalogs produce while a bottle of Fruit Loops flavored vodka hovers ominously in the foreground.
 
 
Master Chef (pronounced 'mast-shef') and Gastrophysicist, Jesse Van Halen, demonstrated proper slicing and hygiene throughout.
 

 
Brendan Goes to Hollywood chopped and chopped and chopped and chopped, creating the basis for the side dishes: cauliflower mashed 'potatoes' and a fresh and tangy tomato-cucumber-avocado salad.

 
 
Rick James, Brendan's costar from Cup Trix, stopped by to pass judgement and found the kitchen to be in good order. She did not touch or breathe on the fabulous main dish, Chicken Marbella ala Mamadoux. 
 
 
Although the guests appeared indifferent, they ate everything and complained about being too full for several hours after this shining culinary triumph.
 
 
A close up.
 
 
Late to the party was Ms. Chains, who sampled everything, pronounced it fabulous, and assisted with creation of the dessert: Rumchatta Pistachio shakes!!!
 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Origins

Everybody knows Josh of Seagulls, the real lead singer of the Brat Pack.


And everyone knows that he genetically engineered the Jessbot3000, using only lacquer, toothpicks, microglial cells, and CB2 receptors in his secret basement laboratory on Carson Street. (The bot's tracking device doesn't work very well anymore.)


But not many people realize that it was also Josh of Seagulls who discovered Brendan Goes to Hollywood. While Josh was by the water cooler at a fancy studio in Los Angeles, California, practicing his line for Disney's "The Country Bears," he spotted the young star of hit cable series Cup Trix. They struck up a conversation and immediately forgot why they were in LA in the first place, and before they knew it, they were not!

Behold the entire Cup Trix...

Monday, September 03, 2012

Contest Winner with A Weekend Superior to Ours!

Ashleigh Coartney called it, and we believe her. "Umm, im on a movie set, 20,000 sq ft mansion with legit movie stars, doing what I love with awsome people....i win." Even though our weekend exceeded our own super high expectations, Ashleigh sent proof of how amazing she has it these days. See for yourself.














Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Contest of the Week: Top This!

We think OUR weekend is chock-full of important and exciting stuff, and we challenge you to show us up! The winner, whose weekend is guaranteed to be more awesome than ours, gets a guest spot on our blog and facebook page to boast about how much better they've got it than The Brat Pack.

Why we think our weekend is going to be so great:


Three gigs in a row, followed by a picnic/beach party/volleyball tournament!
Alex in Chains is BACK at BJ's Pump after a long, long time!
The Brat Pack helps kick off some holy matrimony!


Jesse Van Halen debuts new pants!
The Brat Pack returns to Kincaid for its annual festival!
Josh of Seagulls celebrates his birthday!


Alex in Chains celebrates her one year anniversary with The Brat Pack!
Punky Drewster gears up for HIS one year anniversary with The Brat Pack!
Brendan Goes to Hollywood and Lynndi Lauper are scheduled to make a decision!

WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT TOPS ALL OF THAT????

(Thanks for the pretty pictures, Mr. Eric Frahm. We heart you forever.)

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Winners' Circle: Math and Word Problems Solved!

A mere two days ago, our Contest of the Week was announced, presenting the complex challenge of identifying a single word and seven digit sequence, out of infinitely many possible combinations, often spoken by our lead singer and echoed by the rest of us. Within seconds, winning entries were piling up, giving us an unprecedented tie, three runners up, and a legit alternative correct answer!

Donita Hillman-Jacobsen, through her proxy Jamie, was tied for first place with the target answers 's-a-f-e-t-y' and 8675309, and had these brainteasers for us:

"How many drums does it take Josh of Seagulls to play a gig?"

Brendan Goes to Hollywood: Including the secret drums positioned behind the stage and played by Josh's hologram throughout the show, plus the spare snares he has stashed away, approximately 52.3214 drums are needed.


"How many glasses of water did it take Alex in Chains to get through the Fat City gig?"

Alex in Chains: According to the Daily Hydration Calculator, I require 85.5 ounces (2.6 liters) of water per day. With a healthy diet, about 20 percent of water is from food, leaving the need for an additional 68.4 ounces of water, or 2.1 liters, daily. I used exactly 4.2 liters of water, half to stay hydrated and half to keep Punky Drewster's head and shirt drenched throughout the evening.


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Andrea Brenner Greaney, also tied for first place, and Anna Summers and Caron Barnhart, runners up, did not need our assistance with any word or math problem.

Josh of Seagulls: I only count to four.

 

Jesse Van Halen: The word IS the problem.


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Uncle Jeff, Astrophysicist and winner with a surprise alternative answer ('r-o-c-k' in the USA, 8675309), challenged the band with:

"What do you get when you integrate 4/(1+t^2) from t=0 to t=1?"

Punky Drewster: One way to find the answer is to make a right triangle with legs of length 1 and t so the hypotenuse has length sqrt(1+t^2). In this triangle, define theta as the angle opposite the side of length t. This lets sin(theta)=t/sqrt(1+t^2), cos(theta)=1/sqrt(1+t^2), [cos(theta)]^2=1/(1+t^2), and tan(theta)=t. With these relationships, you can show that dt=d(theta)/[cos(theta)]^2 and theta=arctan(t). Then you can change the integral to the integral of 4 from theta=0 to theta=pi/4.

Lynndi Lauper: Another approach is to use complex numbers (ones that contain i, where i=sqrt(-1) and i^2 = -1). You can write 4/(1+t^2)=4/[(1 + i t)(1 - i t)]=2/(1 + i t) + 2/(1 - i t). Then, the integral of 4/(1+t^2) from t=0 to t=1 becomes (2/i)ln[(1+i)/(1-i)] which equals (2/i)ln(i). Then, since i^2 = -1 = e^(i pi), we have i=sqrt(-1)=e^(i pi/2). This gives ln(i)=ln[e^(i pi/2)]=(i pi/2). ln(x) means the natural logarithm of x. The natural logarithm has base e. This lets ln(e^x)=[x ln(e)]=x hold. e^x means e (around 2.718) raised to the x power. ln(e) equals 1. Putting all the pieces together, you end with the integral of 4/(1+t^2) from t=0 to t=1 being equal to pi.


Anytime.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Contest of the Week: Spelling Bee & When is Math Ever a Problem?



For sixteen years, we practiced spelling just one word. Most of us have it now, though some simply repeat whatever the lead singer says. We also memorized a seven digit sequence, with similar result. (Hint: the number is neither pi nor 69).

If you are the first to guess the word and the number we've mastered, you can win a beautiful plastic trophy and our assistance with a word or math problem!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Watch the Contest Judges Flinch


We caught up with Brendan Goes to Hollywood and Josh of Seagulls in some kind of utility closet where they were discussing particle physics. They looked exactly like this as we read off one contest entry after another:

Brucie, Blinded by the Light: "wrapped up like a douche" or "little hurly burly gave my anus curly whirly"
CCR, Bad Moon Rising: "bathroom on the right"
Natalie Cole, I Miss You Like Crazy: "I guess you like gravy"
Bon Jovi, Dead or Alive: "a stale horse I ride"
Men at Work: "Do you come from the land down under? Where women blow and then plunder?"
Madonna: "Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think they're all gay."

We wondered if they were going to punch us in the eye so they could get back to theoretical cosmology, when suddenly we presented:

Bon Jovi, Living on a Prayer: "It doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not," to which O' Seagulls said, "That's how I've been singing it. That's not funny," to which Mr. To Hollywood said, "HA" which counts as a laugh, we think.
 

WE HAVE A WINNER!
Evan Garner, come on down!

Monday, August 06, 2012

We're Reinventing the 80s, So Why Shouldn't You?

Who doesn't love 'misheard' lyrics?

Contest of the Week:
Rewrite a lyric from a popular 80s tune. Send it to us. The author of the entry that can actually make Josh of Seagulls and his twin, Brendan Goes to Hollywood, chuckle wins a real trophy and our undying gratitude!

Here's an example of a misheard lyric that could change the entire past by introducing technology that's already obsolete, setting the bar pretty high:

"She was a fax machine, she kept her modem clean."




Or, if you'd rather keep it simple, just buy the shirt that makes people healthy and happy, while supplies last: $15, Ladies' sizes only.  SOLD OUT!



Monday, July 30, 2012

For the Ladies

We created this pink tank top, featuring our brand new poster art, just for the ladies and just for the summer.

Then we discovered that it had miraculous powers, making men fit and fashionable.


Even supermodels feel happier and more ready for the world when they wear it!



It's way cheaper than a gym membership or hypnosis, so hurry and get yours now while the heat and our limited supplies last. ($15 - Ladies' sizes only) SOLD OUT!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Contest Result: Art Wins!

"He's a 70-year-old publisher/editor/newsboy living between Hither and Yon that listens to RHCP and loves God, animals and pines for the ol' days at Les's Lounge..." That's Art Jones' answer to last week's contest question: "What is Art?"
Now that we understand as never before, we will sharpen our lasers for the big game.