14 Terrifying Secrets about The Brat Pack. The Last One Will Give You Hives.

As if the buildup to Halloween weren't nightmarish enough, it appears that the Brat Pack has become hazardous to itself.

An anonymous source claims that the Brat Pack show is 38% more gruesome and 71% more life-threatening than ever. With reports of shark attacks, dancing zombie Michaels, undercooked bacon, MMA, chicken stabbings, banana peels, bass solos, oversleeping, Olympic lifting, amateur hair art, salsa, unwelcome hugs, chloroform, and even one incident where Brendan Goes to Hollywood turned the beat around while ruling the universe, what used to be a sweet 80s cover/party band sharing plastic beads and paper tiaras and experimenting with time travel has transformed itself into a Japanese reality television series. But what evil madman is to blame?

Please send help.

Another TV Show! Another Survey!

It's the second episode of that TV show demanded by the public through our last survey.




And oh look - another survey! Who's Red Hottest?

Our Red Hot TV Show

When 'the people' demanded it, through our online survey, we made our own TV show.


What's next?

It's Time to Red Hot Winterize the Brat Pack!

To get The Brat Pack really ready for Red Hot Winter (which is coming sooner than they think and requires a certain amount of glamour and sex appeal), we made a list!

Maybe some of them should hurry back to the gym.

A pedicure is really more of a public service here.

Others could use an attitude adjustment,

professional choreography,

spray tan,

cut, color, and deep condition,

shiny clothes,

and a guest star!

This Little 80s Band Made ONE Simple Resolution. You Won't Believe What Happened Next!

Holiday Greetings

Holy Cow! It's a Holiday Video!
From Us! On the Blog!

Weather Update: We Don't Even Care!

Bunny Goes to Hollywood is so happy now. He doesn't have to wander the fields anymore looking for a signal on his iphone2 so that he can check weather apps. And that's because we don't even care what the little icons are trying to tell us about scary future things...

 

 

We can take it! We can play outside in the beautiful beer garden at Fat City during a thunderstorm, blizzard, hurricane, drought, plague of locusts, or even a bachelorette party!

Bunny Lost, Pony Lost, Clammy to the Rescue, Bunny Back!

In case you haven't clicked on that button and signed up for our 'weekly' email newsletter, it's not too late!

Also, we were pretty worried last month when Bunny Goes to Hollywood never came back from his weather divining mission, and Pony Goes to Hollywood went out looking for him but got scared and ran away.

So we enlisted the shy and slow-moving Clammy Goes to Hollywood to help in the cause, and no sooner was he out the door than Bunny RETURNED to say that his iphone weather app has guaranteed us a perfectly clear and beautiful sky for Saturday night's outdoor show in Philo!

Hallelujah!

Bunny Missing! Pony to the Rescue!

We sent Bunny Goes to Hollywood out into a field, partly to check the weather app on his phone but more to be able to say he was outstanding in a field. He hasn't made it back yet, and while some suspect wrongdoing, we need to get the party started.

So we're counting on Pony Goes to Hollywood to predict really great weather for this weekend's top secret private party events so that we can rock out with no precipitation!

Since both gigs are top secret private parties, we won't see you until next weekend, but you can click on this button and do something anyway:

Get Our "Weekly" Email Blast!

We sent Bunny Goes to Hollywood back out into a field to check for news emergencies, and all he found was this button that promises to let you sign up for our increasingly cute semi-regular email list warning you of our upcoming public appearances! OH, DO IT!

There it is again!

This is fun!
 

Weather Update!

According to some calendars, it might be summer again, but we're not completely convinced.

As a result, we're sending Brendan "Bunny Goes to Hollywood" Goes to Hollywood out into a field with his advanced meteorology equipment. Once there, we hope that he'll have good enough reception to divine the future and answer the most important question anyone ever has about an outdoor weekend gig: whether the tiny clouds are dripping tiny thunderbolts. If he can find his way back, and then if he remembers to tell us, we will probably get in the newly duct-taped Bratmobile and rock some golf courses, beer gardens, parking lots, and television stations.

 

But we're still not sure.

Commerce and Fashion Updates

If you're shuffling along with us at a club and suddenly realize that you forgot to purchase a gift for that special someone's birthday, anniversary, graduation, wedding, 4th of July, or other important day... we've got the goods. We keep them right there on stage with us at all times, and if you have cash, it's even easier!

Our full color, high quality "BP Rocket" baseball jersey isn't just for astronauts and time-travelling teenagers anymore. A sexy, flattering style for all, the rocket shirt is affordable, at $15, and helps prevent nudity.

The Brat Pack underwear collection might be familiar to you, thanks to our supermodel lead singers, who have no shame. So stop having shame and get some today! (Prices vary by style.)

The Brat Pack Tank Top, a la Gwen Stefani and Brendan Goes to Hollywood, is a classic. A small quantity remains in our inventory, which could make these a collector's item (if we forget to reorder).

Finally, the Members Buttons went so fast, we had to do an emergency restocking. At $2 per, you can easily collect them all!

Weather Update

Last Friday was sort of okay, not super cold. We had a good time at Fat City where a bus dropped off hundreds of lawyers.

Saturday's high of 50 degrees made for such a pleasant day. High winds made everything look funny. The temperature was still bearable at night, when we witnessed a spectacular turnout at T&T Tavern.

On Sunday it started to drop, but we still think 25 is nice. No snow though.

Monday saw a high of 14 and Tuesday of 13. An eyewitness reported five seconds of glistening snow flurries on Monday and stuck her tongue out to see if they were real or manufactured, like contrail fallout.

Whatever happens next, we really don't know. We're a party band, not meteorologists, and even though we have predicted the weather (and the future) with much higher accuracy than the pros, we don't want to get anyone's hopes up.

Guess you'll just have to come to Sliderz in Decatur this Saturday to find out what kind of weather we ended up having throughout the week.

Our Top Five Resolutions for 2013 and Progress So Far

1. Get More Exercise.

Here's a classic, made to be broken. Exercise can cause serious injuries, to the exerciser and innocent bystanders! These lead to emergency medical care, physical therapy, attorney's fees, and increased insurance premiums. Add that to pricey gym memberships and workout gear, and we can barely keep the second most popular resolution - to get out of debt. We might trick ourselves with reverse psychology, resolving to get more exercise (see LL's obsessive blog) and then standing up to ourselves by getting less...

2. Get out of Debt.

Depends on how we do with breaking #1.

3. Take Fewer Pictures of Each Other Sleeping/Waking Up/Eating/Taking Pictures.

Creepers everywhere. We know that we should resolve to give each other privacy, to be more respectful, to keep those camera phones to ourselves, but we just forget. Sometimes we even accidentally post these intimate glimpses. After all, nothing says 'party band' like stuffing your face with Crispy Cremes or passing out in the backseat of the van surrounded by equipment.




4. Spend More Time with Friends and Family.

We can live with this promise
as long as it means we get to
take more pictures of each other
sleeping, waking up, eating,
and taking pictures.












5. Learn Something New.

Brendan Goes to Hollywood and Lynndi Lauper thought this meant TIL, collecting fascinating factoids every day, such as the fine points of virology or the history of soap. Other than that, it's so hard to know what you've learned, if anything, until after, and then it's hard to remember and scary to bring up in public. But on this resolution, our fortunes turned...
Just when we were ready to break it, we realized that learning other new stuff counts, like songs, guitar solos, dance steps, the routes to new locations, sources of flair, and innovative jello shot flavors!

Here's Our Office Party. Show Us Yours?

This year's holiday office party was inspired by a tale of tall wizards and helpful elves,

 

 

guys with big hairy feet who follow dwarves around,

 

 

trees that walk and sing,

 

 

and terrifying, pale, mountain dwelling giants...

 

 

We took ourselves to see The Hobbit! We held hands, we ate popcorn, we laughed, we cried, we struggled to understand all the words. Being our own date has never been so emotionally liberating. Here's an illegal photo someone we don't know texted us during the previews, to prove we were really there.

 

After the film, we were forced to eat even more, seated at this uniquely rocket-shaped table.

 

Will the festivities never end?  Thanks to the wine and delicious food, we took ourselves home and took advantage of ourselves, exchanging gifts, photos of gifts, jokes about gifts, deceptive gifts, and gifts of strong mutual interest.

 

 

And then someone xeroxed their butt.

 

(P.S. Thanks to our good friend Holly Bowman for photos 2, 3, and 4!)